What do you need?

By Danielle Roessle, LCSW, GCDFI, CCSP

I can remember the number of times in my 20s and 30s where I would sit with stress, not sure how to comfort myself. 😥

Whether my stress was acute or chronic, I'd quickly resort to trying some strategy, such as taking a walk, calling a friend, or eating a chocolate, to ease the situation. More often than not, it would be a bust for the strategy to work.

To better support myself with stress management, I attended a conference in 2014 focused on finding work-life balance. The facilitator suggested using stress-reducing strategies such as getting my nails done, going for a massage, or a self-care day.

I admit, the suggestions annoyed me. For example, if I’m feeling lonely, and I need connection, getting my nails done is not likely going to help in the longer term (at least not for me).

I had a lightbulb moment 💡 — What occurred to me was that none of the suggestions got to the core of root issue or understanding my unmet needs that were causing the stress or discomfort.

I realized that by stepping back when I'm experiencing an uncomfortable feeling, the act of asking myself, "What do I need?", could really help me find clarity on what to do next.

I’m not saying that identifying my needs is always easy, because sometimes it requires removing mind clutter and processing my feelings, to eventually get to the point where I can identify my unmet needs. And even though I have developed the tools over the years to better identify my needs, I can't meet all of them. But at least the acknowledgment of my needs eases the discomfort.

When I was reflecting about how to start the 9toThrive Program, it occurred to me that I needed to start with the heart of the matter that often causes stress — identifying our unmet needs. That's why I'm starting my 9toThrive Program this Sunday from 8-9 PM by sharing some exercises on how to get to the core of what we need to find better clarity and focus.

If you’re interested in learning more about the 9toThrive Program to see if it could be a good fit please send me an email, and we can jump on a call today to see if it would be a good fit.

Regardless if you are interested in the 9toThrive Program or not, next time you’re hitting a bottle neck or feeling some discomfort ask yourself, "What do I need?" because you might just find you get more clarity and a better solution with this one question alone.

You’ve got this,

Danielle